Presque, la liberte.

Il a l'air que j'attends pour cette jour pour un longtemps. Un jour que je pensais beaucoup. Quelquefois il entre dans mes reves. Le tour Eiffel, Notre Dame, Sacre Coeur. Les petites rues ont suivi, la langue de francais partout. C'etait mervellieux. Et maintenant le jour dont les reves ont devenu un realite est ici. Maintenant.

Mon futur, c'est demain.

Nouvelle Zealand, ou France?
Christchurch ou Paris?

Oui, jai un preference.

Dressed to win.

Its hard when a huge opportunity arrives and you have to appear your best, at your peak, like you're the only person that could fill the sport. I have had two instances of this lately, a job interview (thank the shining star I pulled through on that one) and an interview to go and live in Paris. Yeah, live. In Paris. Like, freak out. How can I show that I AM the right person. That I would gain so much from this experience. That its what I want, what I have strived for. How can I translate that? How can I make it appear obvious?

I sure hope I can,

I'll let ya know.

Busy busy busy.

Things are getting crazy and my head is spinning with dates, words and times. Trying to fit my life into a measley 24 hours a day is tough. But soon it's holidays. They arrive like a brick wall, reminding you what its like to have free time, space and instances of nothing to do.

Gosh I hope the reminder hurries up.

Inter. View.

My interview approaches like I have been dreaming about. Days, weeks, months. Years? It's been awhile and its come down to this. Not to freak myself out or anything. A long chain of events is lined up before me, the eiffel tower teetering of the edge, one wrong move will cause it to fall. But on the other hand?



This.

Not yet. Another year? Please.

Birthday. Mine. Around the corner. Another age, another year. Plus fear. But I liked 19, it felt nice. We were getting to know each other, developing an understanding. Oh 19, do you have to go?

Boo.

Sometimes confidence comes by accident.

Hesitation

Isn't it funny when something comes to you, it just hits you, straight in the face. It makes you wonder why you hadn't thought of it before. Or if this perhaps was you thinking it?

Either way, Paris used to be a wavering factor. I was ot quite there but not wanting to pull out. I was hesitant. I wouldn't say not ready but I didn't feel like it was 'to be'.

Handing in a form that can permit you to travel to the other side of the world for a long period of time sounds a bit too Hollywood for my reality. Yet, this is the situation I found myself in last Thursday. No hesitation, pure confidence. Like this was it, my one way ticket was in the mail.

And I wasn't hesitant....plain excitement now.